Thursday, March 9, 2006

New year resolution

Do you remember the part in Armageddon when Bruce Willis nukes the asteroid? I favorite scene was when he detonates the bomb and at that very moment, his life flashes before his eyes. All the special moments, people and thoughts race through the mind in that one split second before everything stops. Can you imagine what you will see when that moment comes in your life?

For good or worse, I don’t have to imagine that like you are doing right now. In the first day of this year I lost balance in the deeper end of the pool and needless to say started drowning. By now you can infer, I can’t swim that well. After fighting to come up for a gasp of breath for almost 15 seconds I lost hope. It didn’t mater how hard I tried I always ended up in the bottom. With air out of my lungs and water in my body I finally gave up and embraced the inevitable. as my motionless body sank even more, I saw a slideshow, , a few days of my life I will never forget , there were people, some I knew and some I remembered from my past. And then the show stopped at one face. Someone I know I love more than anyone and anything. Someone who has changed my life… gave a new meaning to it... Someone I wanted to see once more.

I am sure all of this happened in one second but it was then I found myself filled with a boost of energy and a will to fight. Something inside me shouted, “I will not go, I will not give up” probably for my sake or for the sake of that someone who was (and still is) everything to me. I somehow made my way back to the top just too get some air and shout for help.

I survived that day, but I came back home a new guy. I found myself o longer confused or disillusioned, as if all the cow-webs have been removed from my path and I knew what I really wanted in my life. Long back I attended a PD workshop where the trainer asked us to write down everything I want to do if I knew I had only 24 hours to live. in the end of that exercise he simply asked,” we don’t know if we are going to live after this day, this hour or this minute, then why don’t we do all this things when we have the opportunity?” though it made sense even then, It did not create the impact which this incident did. I guess practical is always more effective than the theory. Usually we always fail to see the bigger picture. Some things which seem right at the moment makes us regret for rest of our lives, and something which seems like a mistake brings out the best results in long run. since then I try to live every minute to the best way I can, and in sticky situation just ask myself “What if this is as good as it gets?” As Robert Frost said “miles to go before I sleep”, but i know when i DO sleep I will not have any nightmares